At church this Sunday, while praying, the pastor said something similar to this....
"JESUS WE NEED YOU. WE NEED YOU, AND WE NEED YOU SOME MORE. AND AFTER THAT WE NEED YOU JESUS. AND WHEN WE'RE DONE NEEDING YOU, WE NEED YOU. OH HOW WE NEED YOU JESUS."
It seems like back in the states it was often easy to forget in the day to day how desperately we need Jesus. Because we somehow get in our groove and have this false sense of having everything under control, being able to handle it all on our own...
That is not the case in Haiti. This prayer of need has been my prayer all week. Of course, I feel silly for the things that make me feel needy when I am surrounded by a country of people who are needy because they have no job, no food, no place to live or a tent that gets flooded by the storms, no justice, are dying of cholera... you get the idea...
Some of my prayers of need...
Jesus I need you because I have a bad attitude about our electricity being out.
Jesus I need you because I feel really nauseous, but need to eat something.
Jesus I need you because I feel isolated and alone.
Jesus I need you because my mouth is full of cold sores and they hurt like heck.
Jesus I need your help to kill this scary looking tarantula.
Jesus I need you to not let us die on the motorcycle today.
Jesus I need you because I've lost my joy.
Jesus I need you because the smell of burning trash and our stopped up toilet makes me want to vomit.
Jesus I need you because my throat hurts so bad I can't sleep.
Jesus I need you because I am so hot and sweaty I can't sleep.
Jesus I need you because I am just really tired.
Jesus I need you because I have a bad attitude about these never ending dishes and this tiny sink.
Jesus I need you to help me stop being so selfish and love the people around me.
Jesus I need you because having my stuff in piles everywhere is really annoying me.
Jesus I need you to help me pray.
Jesus I need you because everything here is so different.
Jesus I just need you to hold me and uphold me.
And more than anything with all of these comes the prayer that my heart would be thankful for the many blessings we have, and not frustrated with the small inconveniences it is so easy to focus on.
My husband has been awesome. He is working so hard to get us set up here.
I wanted to post some pictures, but am having trouble getting that to work, so, pictures to come later.
It's so easy to not 'need' Him as we stay in our comfort boxes where we're safe and everything is 'normal'. But take us out... What pain and what amazing joy all at once. You're finding out both at the moment and that's so exciting to me. It's going to be a rough road in these coming weeks and months. But just wait...all those things listed about will become the new 'norm' for y'all and comfort will once again return. God takes us through seasons- those you'll go through in Haiti are so different than one can imagine. But after 3 years here, living through many of your above listed things, I can look back and say: It's worth it, and I wouldn't trade who I've become, who God's become to me, or how I see people and this world for anything!
ReplyDeleteYou both are in my thoughts and prayers- big hugs from Kosovo!
Praying for you all. Your post made me think of a Watermark song I love. I'll post 2 links, and hopefully you can listen and be encouraged. (Substitute cold/winter for HOT and perpetual summer, lol)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.myspace.com/watermarkband/music/songs/welcome-to-delaware-28635172
or
http://new.music.yahoo.com/watermark/tracks/welcome-to-delaware--1207856
Well it’s been a cold December
and the leaves have fallen true,
and I do believe I’m still in love with you.
Yea my scenery keeps changing,
and sometimes it’s hard to view.
But you’ve let me see so much since I’ve known you.
But I headed to what seemed like nowhere
You told me to come,
you told me you’d meet me here.
You were here to say
“Welcome to Delaware”
I know you’ve traveled far.
And it’s a lot colder here than what you’re used to.
And I know that in the winter time,
things aren’t what they used to be.
So all you really have here now is Me…
So I settled here, and that is that.
For you to show me who I am,
You had to take me to a place I’d never been.
And all the things I dreaded most
about the things unseen,
have now become the sweetest part of me.
Though I headed to what seemed like nowhere
I knew you would come
I know you would meet me here.
You were here to say
“Welcome to Delaware”
I know you’ve traveled far.
And it’s a lot colder here than what you’re used to.
And I know that in the winter time,
things aren’t what they used to be.
So all you really have here now is Me….
I pray that this will be a sweet time for you both. Much love to you, from all of us.
Yes, Lord! Thank you for this reminder, Becky. I find myself asking for so many things- good things- but not asking nearly enough for Jesus. The Jesus Storybook Bible reminds us that He is our Rescuer, and I'm reminded of the song, "I need you Jesus, to come to my rescue. Where else can I go? There's no other name by which I am saved. Capture me with grace. I will follow you. This world has nothing for me."
ReplyDeleteI pray you are refreshed by Jesus and see that He is all you need. I pray you are joyful in your circumstances! I also pray that you find rest and comfort.
Much love,
Rachel
Jesus is enough.
ReplyDeletePraying that you will continue (with all of us!) to discover this truth.
Thank you for being so real and honest. Love you beck beck . Praying for your family!
ReplyDeleteBecky, I love and miss you dearly. As I am praying for y'all, this post just made me smile because i can totally hear your voice through these typed words. Can't wait to read your next post! Love all three of you, Grace :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Grace completely. I loved hearing your voice as I read. Oh, how I miss you and love you sweet friend. I will PRAY more and think less when I think of you guys. I just love you - hang in there. You were created for just this thing at just this time... He will sustain you. Big hugs and prayers for a special blessing especially for you tomorrow. LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteAfter 2 difficult weeks I am doing so much better. Praise God for His sustaining and healing. Thanks for reading and for your prayers.
ReplyDeleteChristina- for your experience and wisdom. I am looking forward to getting used to the "new normal". do you have a blog or anything about your ministry in Kosovo?
Lamar- I love that song and haven't listened to it in forever. It was good to listen to anew. Thanks!
Rachel- Thank you for your prayers. I heard about your new kids coming. So excited and praying for you - you'll have to send me pictures since I won't get to meet them anytime soon.
Tori- Love you too! Just saw a cute pic of your son on Facebook! He is sooo handsome. I have tried to start adopting my "new style of dress" - it's nothing that special. I still wear soccer shorts around the compound, but just put on a skirt or something nice when I go anywhere else.
Grace- Love you too! Sorry I never connected with you before we left. Send me an e-mail and let me know about school and family and church in Ft.Worth.
Christy... He has definitely sustained me. Thank you for your prayers. Lots of love to you and yours.
Here ya go- three years of my ups and downs...
ReplyDeletehttp://christinajoyful.blogspot.com/
Hugs!