When we were back in the States last year, I had several people ask
me if we had good friends in Haiti that we missed or were keeping up
with. I felt a little awkward answering "no". Because we HAD gotten to
know lots of different people in Haiti our first 2 years here, people
that we cared about - just none that we were really keeping up with
while away or that I would call "good friends". When we decided that we
would be spending the next several years in Haiti, I immediately began
praying- or maybe more accurately, begging God for this. I was
pleasantly surprised when we arrived back in Haiti to realize how many
people I actually had missed and was excited to see and catch up with.
However we have still continued praying that God would help us develop
deeper community and friendships here and have been making an effort
towards that.
Haiti can be a difficult place to
develop relationships. To begin with, we are foreigners. We stick out
because of the color of our skin, our inability to speak the language
well, and our lack of cultural understanding - these things compounded
with the assumption that all Americans are really rich and will probably
give you something, can make it hard to develop real friendships with
Haitians. We have many Haitian friends, and I am very thankful for each
of them, but I would classify all of those relationships as still in
beginning stages.
Haiti is also a tough place for relationships
with other foreigners. Although you may have the immediate bond of being
outsiders and speaking the same language, people come in and out of
Haiti all the time, so you never know if the person you are getting to
know will be around next week, next month, or next year. Even when
people intend to stay here we've found there are often unforseen
circumstances that cause them to leave Haiti not long after their
arrival. On top of this, most foreigners here work with some sort of NGO
or mission and their work keeps them really busy. If they are able to
find time away from work/ministry it is given to taking care of their
household and family (simple things like keeping food and power in your
home can be such a chore here). And if you can somehow find time outside
of these things, there is always the gargantuan obstacle of Haiti's
traffic to keep you from getting together with other people. Despite all
these things we are continuing to try and are asking God to bless all
of our attempts at relationships here.
Abigail has been
an interesting case study in relationships this last month. She adores
our students and wants to spend any moment she can at school with them.
The feeling is mutual and they love and play with her very well. It is
probably due to the dearth friendship options that an 11 year old and an
almost 2 year old can be such great friends and playmates.
In
contrast, on our return to Haiti Abigail did not remember or recognize
any of the Haitians who work around us and who were her best buddies
before we left. And much to her mother's dismay she has successfully
given them all the cold shoulder, turning away, pouting, and shouting
"NO!" at them every time they have tried to talk to her for the last
month. Thankfully she finally had a break through last week with one of
them. This particular lady was washing clothes right outside our house
and let Abigail join her in playing with the water, soap, and bubbles-
which happen to be some of Abbi's favorite things in the world. It
worked like magic, Abbi has at last reconnected with one of her old
friends. There are still many workers she shouts "no!" at - especially
when they smother her in typical Haitian fashion, trying to kiss or hold
her. But one step at a time right? That goes for her and for us too.
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